I failed. Now what?

I used to view failure as the end of something. If I tried and failed, then obviously I wasn’t meant to do that thing. I’d tell myself to just move on and try a new thing. Until eventually, I lost the desire to even try the new things because “I’d probably just fail at those too”.

Then I read somewhere that failure was just an opportunity to gather data. And even though I didn’t quite get it at the time, the idea stuck with me. It kept popping into my head at random times and I became curious about what it could mean.

Eventually, I decided that my definition of failure might be wrong or at least what I let it mean to me.

I started to experiment with this idea…what if? What if it’s true that every time I fail, I can learn something? What if? What would that mean?

I’ve been playing that what if game for a lot of years now and for the most part, I have my answer.

It means that failure isn’t the end.

That it’s just a checkpoint on my path to success.

It means that I don’t feel afraid to try new things because I expect that I’ll probably suck at them initially. And that’s ok because as Jake the dog says, “… Suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something”.

It also means that every time I try something and fail, I am more set up for success than I was before because it really is just an opportunity to gather data.

Here are some questions that I ask myself when I fail:

1.       Was that fun? AND Would it be fun if I was good at it?

2.       Does this task/skill etc. move me closer to the life I envision for myself?

3.       Do I want to improve? If so, what small piece could I work on first? (This feels kind of like an ADHD hack to me. I’ll be more likely to practice if I know exactly what I’m practicing)

4.       Was I set up for success? If not, what needs to be different when I try next?

Sometimes, these questions inspire me to try again right away. Other times, they let me know what I need to do BEFORE I try again. And sometimes, they give me permission to let go.

Regardless of what comes next, I always have more information than I did before. And I count that a success.