ADHD: So much more than being hyper.

What if ADHD really was just a little extra energy and being easily distractible? Wouldn’t that be cool?

It’s not though.

At least not for me.

MY ADHD is struggling to regulate my emotions; questioning my worth because of a thing that I’ve learned is called Rejection sensitive Dysphoria; it’s constantly fearing that I’ve forgotten something and knowing that I probably have; and setting timers to remember that I need to put the clothes in the dryer then dismissing the alarm because I don’t remember why I set it.

It’s finding rotting vegetables in my refrigerator drawers because my brain forgets things that it can’t see but it also dismisses things that it sees too often.

It’s being almost painfully restless as if an entire hive of bees are swarming inside my body and sorting through a waterfall of thoughts to try to grab the one that I need in that moment to effectively communicate.

It’s celebrating any time that my brain and body are able to connect (which is not very frequent by the way).

It’s smiling through the tears because some days/weeks/months are hard. It’s the constant battle to remind yourself that you aren’t lazy even when someone who doesn’t get it unintentionally makes you feel that way because taking out the garbage or remembering to brush their teeth is such a simple task to them.

ADHD is hard. But as Glennon Doyle so beautifully says, we can do hard things.

ADHD is also beautiful.

I believe that my ADHD brain allows me to be: Strong and compassionate and innovative and creative.

It encourages me to be a solutions oriented problem solver and adventure seeker. And allows me to notice beauty in details that others often miss. Oh, and I can navigate a crisis like no other.

What if ADHD really was just a little extra energy and being easily distractible? Wouldn’t that be cool?

It’s not though.

At least not for me.